Is this real?

Tomorrow is my 4 week mark. It means I will now have 4 weeks and 6 days left in dk.
I can't believe I wont be here much longer.... Infact I cant even begin to comprehend it. Its like my real life is slipping away through my hands and I cant catch it. New Zealand feels like unreal. Its strange. It feels like i've been living here my whole life then again there is NO WAY that it has been a year, the time has just gone way to quick. I feel like I my family now is my family, like i've been adopted. I cant believe that I will soon be seeing nelson people... Its like i've left had the funeral and have moved on and then all of a sudden they're all alive again.

I can already imagine how annoying being with my parents is going to be. Infact I just dont want to think about it. A year with a quick hello e.mail here and there to "you have to be home at 10pm" Its going to be hard... Then there's university. I want to be there now. In some ways I just want to go back and have the best summer getting drunk on the beach with my best friends taking photos... then again I feel so passed that. I'm like split in two right now. Half of me is ready to have dance parties, roadtrips and sleepovers, and sneak out to the beach at 2am to meet with guys and go for missions like old times.... Then the other half of me is wanting to go out for dinner and then go clubbing and spend a night out and then go to bed and sleep or host dinner parties. I dont know I feel like i'm in the transition where I either need to let loose and have fun or mature up and move on from my childhood.

I'm torn in two.

Love
H. xx